the sisterhood of motherhood
After a long night of very little sleep, we'd spent the entire day at the Children's Hospital. We drove through a mix of snow and rain, through morning rush hour to be there for the first EEG appointment that morning. He can only have 4 hours of sleep the night before his EEGs, so we started out tired. We had a break in the afternoon, but had to meet with the doctor at the end of the day. We sat off to the side in the waiting area. Other kids played, but my nine year old laid on the bench, his head resting on my lap. He was exhausted. So was I.
I was reading, when something else in the room caught my eye. One of the other moms apologized to another mom. I don't know what had happened. A few minutes later, I looked over to see the mom who had been apologized to offering a bottle of water and some snacks to the mom who had apologized to her. Soon three moms were chatting, commiserating about all that motherhood is and encouraging each other. Oh my heart.
I love being a mom. Most of the time. I love watching my kids grow, pouring into their lives, teaching them, spending time with them. I love high fives and kisses and tiny arms wrapped around my neck. I love the teenage bodies draping over my shoulder and I love deep talks about issues they face and watching their sense of humor develop. I love dandelions and pictures and knock-knock jokes. I love being a mom.
But I also love the sisterhood of motherhood. Played out right, it's what I witnessed in the waiting room. The other women who just know. Sure, we come from different places and we have different philosophies that lead us to make different choices, but we all know each other. Some may not even be moms in the traditional sense. I love what Gloria Furman writes in Missional Motherhood: The Everyday Ministry of Motherhood in the Grand Plan of God,
“Mothering or nurturing is not just a calling for women who have biological or adopted children. Mothering is a calling for all women. Every Christian woman is called to the spiritual motherhood of making disciples of all nations.”
I love being a part of the sisterhood of motherhood because at it's best, it's not about judgement or being the same, it's about having each others' backs. It's not about having kids the same age or in the same programs, it's about encouraging each other. It's about seeing and being seen. It's about giving and accepting grace.
It can occur in close relationship, as we love each other's kids, being another pair of ears to listen. It's letting that other mom know just how awesome you think her kids are. It's walking through the hard things together, knowing that there will be someone there who you can genuinely trust, someone who will hear your heart and offer you her own.
But it can also occur across distances and differences. It's the mom who hands you a package of wipes when you run out or tells you you're doing a great job as your child screams in the shopping cart. It's the woman who tells you that she's been there and that they really do grow out of it (mostly) when she sees the eyes of a teenager roll back into her head.
I think we need a sign we can flash at each other. You know, if you place your hands next to your mouth with 3 fingers extended downward, it makes the word MOM. But maybe that would be too obnoxious? Maybe it would be about right? I don't know. What I do know is that the sisterhood of motherhood is endangered. From the outside, Instagram and Pinterest let us know we should be doing more, looking better, and having it more together. Twitter responds to every move celebrity moms make, pointing out each possible error, educating and questioning every attempt she makes at parenting her child. Within our ranks we argue the merits of every parenting choice we make.
Mama, we need to protect this sacred sisterhood. So you do you. I'll have your back. You are enough and not enough all at the same time. You've got this and I've got you because we all need somebody sometimes. It has to be our constant mantra.
As I walk with Jesus, I not only want to have my sisters' backs, I want to constantly demonstrate Christ. We can't offer encouragement because we've figured out motherhood or because we're just super encouraging people or because it's been a great day. We encourage each other and love on each other and catch each other and extend loads of grace, because it's what Jesus does and it's what we are called to do.
Bob Goff gives away medals. I haven't found a good deal on medals yet, but if I ever do I'm going to get them and give them to other moms. In place of that, you can download free printable cards to give out to moms right here. Start a conversation or just let her know she's not alone.
