a moment of silence
A sky that looks like this, never makes me feel good. There's something about it that reaches inside of me and makes me cringe, makes me want to gather all my little birds under my feathers and keep them safe, at least until the rain comes.
Today is November 16th. It's a day I always take notice of. If you went to elementary school with me, you probably do too. For me, it was a day that fear became a very real, very tangible thing. No longer was I afraid of the unknown, the possibilities of what could happen, but this day, this day 27 years ago, I became afraid of the known, of what had happened. Any fears I'd held, seemed validated. Any fears I'd entertain over the next 27 years would seem completely logical.
On that day, the sky was overcast, the wind was gusting, occasionally spitting rain. As we ate our lunch it changed from overcast, to downright dark. We didn't go out for recess that day. It wasn't long after we returned to our classrooms that the announcement was made. One of the other elementary schools in our district had been hit by a tornado.
It's almost too much to recount here, 27 years later. Less than 4 miles down the road, a short walk from my grandmother's house at the school my mother had attended as a child, the cafeteria wall had collapsed on a room full of children sitting down to lunch. In all, 10 children would die, more were injured and none of us were ever the same. For the next 7 years, every November 16th we would all pause in a moment of silence to remember nine lives that were no longer with us.
Fear is a part of life. I don't think God would address it as often as He does in His Word, if He didn't know we were going to struggle with it. We all struggle with fear and worry.
The fear that I'm not enough.
The fear that I'm going to get hurt.
The fear that I'm going to lose someone precious to me.
The fear that something bad will happen.
Some of our fears are irrational and some of them are all too real. Here's what I've learned as I've wrestled with fear these past 30ish years or so. It's not that I don't struggle with this anymore (wouldn't that be nice?!?), but I do know how to fight it now!
Truth.
The truth that is in God's word. There are so many amazing passages that speak to our fear, but here is one of my favorites, one that I've clung to when I couldn't seem to grip onto anything else.
“God is our refuge and our strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though it’s waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling.”
Practical truth. For a long time, I had run away fears. If I saw it on the news, I worried about it. Kids being abducted from their beds. Bridges collapsing, Tsunamis. You name it. I was afraid of it. Sometimes you just have to turn the news off and recognize that odds are, it's not an issue. Take reasonable precautions. We lock our doors. We still drive over bridges.
Spiritual truth. 27 years ago, I remember driving by the gaping hole in the cafeteria wall on the way to my grandmothers house that night. It was lit by swirling emergency vehicle lights and news crew spot lights. I remember bruised kids. But the thing I remember most, is that when the announcement was made in my class, my 5th grade teacher in my public school, prayed. She never said anything else to us about prayer or God, but I hope that I have her courage and her wisdom, to pray in the face of the unthinkable.
Where our resources and our courage run out, God is just getting started! He will fight for you, you need only be still (Exodus 14:14). When we run out of options we tell ourselves that the only thing we can do is to pray. The truth is that this is one of the bravest, most effective things we can do!
