how I handle 8 (yes, eight) kids
"You have EIGHT kids?!?! EIGHT?!?! Eight."
This is a common refrain in my life. Sometimes it's followed by some questions, some completely reasonable and some that make you wonder if a person's filter has been temporarily misplaced. But almost without fail, I hear, "Wow! I only have (a number less than 8) kids and I can barely handle that!" Most times there's not really enough time to respond to these statements, what with the chaos and all, but since I have a blog now, I can just respond here!
First of all, and hear me on this mamas, no matter how many you have, it's hard. Really hard. When I had one, I thought I was going to die! It was so hard and so new and I had no idea what I was doing. Once when my oldest was a few weeks old, she got the hiccups and couldn't sleep and I thought we were all going to die of hiccups. My mom, being the helpful and humorous soul that she is, told me that if I rubbed the baby's head, the hiccups would stop! I believed her! They did eventually stop, but not because of the head rubbing. When I had two, three, four, five (oh number 5), 6, 7...it's always hard. It takes time to find the "new normal." Last year, I had 2, sometimes 3 of my littles home with me while my other kids were in school. I had visions of all that I'd be able to get done. Guess what? Having 2 or 3 is HARD! Some days the house looked worse by the time my older ones got home.
Second, I'm a hot mess, mama! My house is, more often than not, a disaster, as evidenced in small part by the picture above. My 7 year old learned to spell. Here's to celebrating the victories! On the vast majority of mornings, we're all searching for...socks, pants, the shoes (how is it that even though the shoes were worn less than a day ago, they all just disappear all by themselves)! I enjoy cooking, but so many nights lately, we eat oatmeal instead of pot roast, quesadillas instead of chicken casserole. I forget things. All the time. I'm a total flake! I am usually running late. I'm the frazzled looking mom in the grocery store telling her kids that they don't want ice cream because you're pretty sure that's not even ice cream, what they're looking at is creamed tarantula eyes, because this store no longer carries ice cream. I'm the mom who has to pat down certain children before they leave the store because certain children have a propensity for hiding unpaid for lollipops in their underwear (and you can't even make them bring those back and return them, you have to just pay for them and be sorry that your kid put the lollipop in his underpants). I'm the mom who's going to have children in therapy (please therapy and not jail) because of everything in the last sentence and maybe the one before that too. I'm the mom who loses her cool and yells at her kids. I'm the mom who forgets to bring paperwork to the doctor. I'm the mom who lets the kids watch too much TV. But, I'm the mom who loves these kids and you're the mom who loves yours. Sure we have the occasional moment of wondering what we were even thinking, but mama, you and I know, we wouldn't trade it, not for longer than a few days on a beach or a night out.
And you are too! Sure, you may not have to yell things like, "Don't you dare put that in your brother's ear," or "Could somebody please get the naked baby off the trampoline before he slides down the pole and...never mind," but your kids do crazy things and you love them anyway.
Here's where I'm at. If my kids know that I love them, and even more importantly, that the Lord loves them, we're all good here.
Maybe you don't even have kids and now you've read about the kids learning to spell and jumping on the trampoline, and you're questioning the idea of ever having kids because your job or your marriage or your family or whatever it is in your life is just, a lot. Yep, it is. It's a lot.
We're all dealing with a lot. Just because we're in different stages of our lives or have a different number of kids, doesn't mean that one of us doesn't have a lot on her plate. Let's extend each other a whole lot of grace!
