leaning in

So we've already covered that I'm naturally pretty much a jerk and I have to actually work at being nice. I promise I'm really trying and usually I try not to even go back to things that may have bothered me in the past (seriously could they put up a useful road sign in New Jersey?) but I'm not going to ruminate and this will serve a purpose. So here we go down memory lane...

I'm 8 months pregnant with I don't even know what baby. Nothing fits around my belly. I'm in the store trying to find something that will cover me for the next 4 weeks. I've tried on pants that looked humungous that turned out to be too small. I've tried on pants. At 8 months pregnant. Enough said. I'm an emotional sweat blimp standing in line with pants 2 sizes past humongous. And none of that is what I'm even bothered by. The woman behind me is a close stander. A close stander. I'm dyyyying. I step forward. She steps forward. I consider asking her to please STEP OFF SISTER, cause I can't take it. I don't say anything. I contemplate a complete and utter melt down of epic proportions, me sitting in the store crying about why this woman needs to breathe on my neck. I can see myself turning around now, raising my arms and letting out a primal scream. I maintain some semblance of sanity, pay, leave and wonder what is wrong with the close standers of the world and the New Jersey road sign committee...do they even have one?

It happened again the other day...the close stander at the grocery store (minus the pregnant emotional sweat blimp...just normal me, but is it hot in here or is it hot?). This time, I stepped toward him. It got me thinking about the idea of leaning in.

Leaning in toward the people who make us uncomfortable, who irritate us, who we just don't even know what to do with. What if, when presented with a difficult person or situation, I lovingly leaned in?

The classmate of one of my kids who called 22 times (I'm not even kidding) in one day? What if I were to invite her for a play date, because maybe she needs it. Maybe we need it.

The homeless man on the bench? What if I listened, let my kids give him the flowers they're picking?

That other mom, that I just kind of don't really get or the one I think doesn't like me? What if I made it a point to talk to her, to try to get her, to offer kindness even if I'm not her cup of tea?

My own kids, when they are standin' on my last nerve, planting a tree? What if I stopped, cuddled them up and just sat with them?

I think when we look at the gospels, this is what we see Jesus do over and over again. He leans in. He intersects with the uncomfortable, weird, irritating, awkward us and He leans in, offering truth, bringing people in, offering love, being more concerned with their hearts than what existed outside of them. I think it's what He still does and I think it's what we all need to do.