pursued

Someone asked me recently what I love to write about. I thought about it a bit and answered that I loved to encourage other women and to remind them that they are loved and have purpose. This post has been rolling around in my head for the better part of the year and I am so excited to write it and share it with you, because you guys, I am just floored. Sometimes we don't see something for so long and then it's like God pulls a curtain back to let us see it clearly. I have no words. I am just in awe and I so desperately want you to see it too. This week as Easter approaches, I pray that no matter what is going on in your life, no matter where you are, that you would know that you are so very dearly loved.

There are so many descriptions of God, so many things that He is and does, and none of them can fully sum Him up. Over and over, though, I am struck by how He is pursuing us. He's been pursuing us since the very beginning. How beautiful is that? Creator God, the Almighty One is pursuing you! And there are no lengths to which He will not go to in pursuit of you. Beloved, He sacrificed His Son for you. I remember back in 2004, right after Christmas there had been a tsunami in Indonesia, and I remember hearing about a mother who had to choose which child to try to save. She had two and she couldn't hold both of them. She had to let one go so that the other could live. It broke my heart, although I was thankful that the story ended in their reunion. At the time I had a 2 year old and a nine month old and I couldn't fathom making that kind of choice. God made that choice. I am the child He chose to save. You are the child He chose to save. He was willing to let His Son suffer unspeakable pain, even death, in pursuit of us. This breaks me and heals me all in the same miraculous instant. 

But He didn't stop there. Oh, the awesomeness of it! It's unimaginable that we would deny His paternity and His Lordship after what He's already done. But we do. And He pursues us like that one lost lamb in Matthew 18. He will do whatever it takes for us to realize our need for Him. For some of us rock bottom wasn't a far fall, for others it will seem like there is no end to the pit we are in. I think God lets us fall as far as we need to in order to see our own depravity and our need for Him. As a parent, one of the hardest things you can do is watch your child hurt. It's horrible. In 2012, my three year old suffered a seizure while lying in bed with us. It was terrifying. We called 911 and he was taken to our local emergency room. While he was there they tried seven times to do a spinal tap. Before they tried they gave him something that they said would make him completely unaware of what was happening. But as I sat there looking into his little eyes, I knew that that wasn't the case. It had paralyzed him, but he was very aware of the pain. It haunts me to this day. It was horrible. Everyday, God watches us hurt and He lets us experience it. He lets us know pain. He lets us know despair. Because just like me, as I sat there in tears watching a doctor insert needle after needle into my tiny son's back, He knows it is necessary. If we are ever to truly know healing and wholeness, we have to know brokenness. He lets us get as much of an understanding of brokenness as we need to understand wholeness. 

And when we see our need for Him and we acknowledge who He is, He still pursues. He doesn't check a box next to our names and move on to the next pursuit. He continues after us, drawing us closer, building the relationship, making us more and more like Him. James says "Consider it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." And we've heard it and we know it, but I didn't get it. Not really. And then I did and I just can barely contain myself. Because you guys, it's not just, steadfastness. And it's not just testing of your faith. It's God, pursuing you. Each trial, each doubt, each failure, each struggle, each defeat, each hard thing you face, every single time, God is pursuing you. Unspeakable joy! He's pulling you closer, strengthening your faith and your bond. And not only that, He's there in the joy, in the celebration, in the wins, singing over you, relishing the relationship with you that He has pursued and values. There is nothing He won't do to draw you in, Beloved. Nothing. How sweet is that?