six weird things you can do to love your husband

Boys are weird. We've known it since kindergarten and we love them for it. We're all grown up now and some of us even married those weird boys. So what do we do with them now? Here are six weird ways you can love on your weird one.

Surprise him

When we think of gift giving in a marriage relationship, we tend to focus on what a husband gives a wife. We don't often think about it in reverse. Take just a minute and think about what gifts a man should give his wife. I bet you at least came up with flowers, candy, and jewelry, maybe a spa gift certificate. Now think about what women are supposed to give their husbands. Uh...well...it kind of depends on what he's into? A tie?

Boys are weird but they still like to be surprised once in a while. Now you have to know your husband here, because if the budget is his top priority, you don't want to blow that out of the water to give him something. Here are some ideas that won't break the bank.

Drop his favorite drink off at work
Have a picture framed for his office, of the two of you, of your kids or your family
Bring him some of his favorite candy
Go at lunch time with a dish he loves
Send him a text just because
get his oil changed
wash his car
greet him at the door when he comes home

My mother once surprised my father at the office. She showed up in an overcoat. That was it. Well that and her ultra sexy white sneakers and socks. She walked into his office and fortunately remembered to lock the door before taking the trench coat off. If you do something wild and crazy like this, be sure that the blinds are drawn and the windows are not being washed that day. My mother neglected to check these things which sent my father into quite a tizzy.

Ask him what he needs and then make it happen

Boys aren't always the best communicators about what they need. Ask him. Not in person, because odds are he won't know. Send him an email or a text and ask him what his needs are and how you could help make sure they are being met. Tell him you'd like to talk about it later and then follow up.

Once you know what those needs are, do two things. First, validate them. Let him know that you see that need. Second, propose a step to make meeting that need a reality.

WonderHubs is amazing at making sure that I get time to myself and out with friends. He needs time by himself as well and prefers to spend that time fishing. Translation, he needs a day out. When he communicates this, it's important that I acknowledge that need for him. If I turn around and tell him I need a day more than he does or that it just won't work, what I'm telling him is that I am not interested in meeting his needs. His needs must be important to me and I must communicate that. Then I have to plan a next step with him. For WonderHubs that might be planning what day he could go fishing.

Be happy

This seems ridiculous, doesn't it? Men are care takers. While we, as wives, are not responsible for our husbands' emotions, we should recognize the impact we can have on them. Husbands want their wives to be happy and fulfilled. Really look at what you're communicating to your husband. Often, our husbands are the ones that we vent to. We tell them what mischief the kids got into today and how many times we had to repeat ourselves. We tell them about the unpleasant phone call and that we forgot to send the library books to school today. Often we're not consciously trying to complain, but to someone who is tuned into our happiness and wants to fix all the things for us, it can be a little overwhelming. Making a conscious effort to be positive while still being honest, will help to give your husband the sense of peace in your home that he values.

Invest yourself in his hobbies, but not too much

There are plenty of things that WonderHubs and I enjoy doing together, but we also both have interests outside of those things. WonderHubs loves fishing and hiking and general outdoor adventures. I like writing, reading by a cozy fire with a cup of tea, lounging poolside, shopping, and staying alive. Left to our own devices, we would usually choose to do different types of activities. However, that doesn't mean we can't share the activities we love with each other. When I go fishing with WonderHubs, help him plan a hike for our family or even just listen to him talk about the things he's interested in, I'm showing him that I love him enough to step out of my comfort zones. He also appreciates being invited into my hobbies. Neither of us wants to take over the other's hobbies. Remember when you were dating and you liked each other so much that it didn't matter what you did as long as you were together. Letting him know that he has a place in my hobbies and that I care about his, lets him know that this is still true.

Dream

Life has a way of getting very busy and very logistical. We get up, do the things, go to bed and repeat. We figure out who will drive the kids to their event. We talk about dentist appointments and making sure the garbage gets to the street. And there's goodness in routine and in doing the things we should be doing. But sometimes we need to get past the dishes and the schedules and dream a little, or maybe a lot. Sure there's no way to know what the future holds, but that doesn't mean we can't talk about it, dream about it. Dreaming means looking at our future together. It reiterates our long term commitment. Don't dismiss crazy ideas! Sure you might never climb Everest, but what if you did?

Value his opinion

If you do not want your feathers ruffled, quit reading right here. It's ok. I won't even know!

Here's the thing, your way is not the right way. I mean I'm sure you have reasons for doing something the way you do it, but on matters of preference, on methods of getting things done, you don't have the corner on doing it right. We all think we do, but men tend to value peace and therefore are often willing to yield on these things.

Think about this though. You take advice from your girlfriends, the internet, your mom, magazines, people you don't even know. Have you actually seen the inside of Fly Lady's house? Me either. What if it's a total mess? I'm sure it's clean, but if we're willing to take advice from all those sources, why don't we want to ask our husbands what they think about those same questions. When they offer ideas, why don't we put as much faith in them as we do the ones we found on Pinterest?

Asking for and valuing your husband's opinions communicates respect, trust and love. On that note, a great question to ask him is, "What makes you feel loved?"