the world would be better without me
It's a thought common to humanity. Movies have been made about it. Songs have been written about it. I've thought it. Friends have voiced it. I've felt the pain in my children saying it. Sometimes we all feel as though we don't belong, as though we have no purpose. A recent conversation about this topic prompted me to write the following letter to my sons and daughters, to my friends and loved ones, to myself, and to you.
My Beloved Friend,
I know right now it seems like you make a mess out of things and that this world hurts. I know you think you have no purpose and that the world would be better off with out you. I know it makes you ache.
But dear one, you do have purpose. You were created with purpose, for purpose. That's why it hurts so much when you can't see yours. Before man was ever created, God had a purpose for him. No other created beings were tasked with anything. Only man and woman. It was they who were tasked with caring for the rest of creation, with filling the earth, with caring for each other. Our need for purpose is sown into our very being.
Ephesians says it again.
“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”
We are given new purpose through Christ. God has already prepared good works for you to do! He can see them! The Lord of all creation knows your purpose! He has a view of all eternity, the biggest big picture there is and He has plans for you! But when you can't see the plan, when you don't know what your purpose is, when you're not even sure what the next step is, that is when the lies of the enemy seem to grow even louder.
“Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.”
Your fight isn't with flesh and blood. What a brilliant tactic...to cause your enemy to attack themselves. We see it in the story of Gideon, but it's a favorite tactic of the enemy as well. You are not your own enemy! At least you weren't meant to be. The enemy feeds you lies from the shadows and you repeat them and believe them. He tells you that you are useless, unlovable, that you have no purpose, that you are no good, that the world would be a better place if you'd never been born, if you died. Soon all he has to do is whisper a single word and you take over for him, beating yourself up, until you are convinced of his lies and incapacitated to do the good things that the Lord has purposed for you to do.
So what do you do? How do you move past the lies, defeat an enemy you can't even see most days?
Be still.
Oh, Beloved, this is so beautiful. You have only to be still. The Lord will fight for you! I wish I could convey the enormity and the wonder of it all.
“The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.”
No where do we have a clearer picture of this than in 2 Kings 6. Elisha's servant gets up early and goes outside. What he sees terrifies him. They are surrounded by a great army sent by the king of Syria specifically to take out Elisha so that he can not counsel the king of Israel. But Elisha knows there's more to the story than meets the eye and prays that God would open his servant's eyes to really see. He saw that God was fighting the battle for them. They were surrounded by chariots of fire. They had only to be still. Elisha asked God to blind the army and led them peacefully away from his home, fed them and sent them back to the king of Syria. The battle is not ours. It belongs to the Lord.
Psalm 46 is one of my favorite portions of scripture. It reminds me that no matter what is going on, God is still in control and I don't have to fear. It's always struck me as interesting though that in the midst of mountains falling into the sea, nations raging, kingdoms tottering, desolations, even the ceasing of wars, the Psalmist says,
“Be still and know that I am God.
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth. ”
It almost seems out of place, but it's not. The world is falling apart and we are to be still and know? We live in a world of disaster preparedness. In school we have drills, as adults there are lists of safety precautions we should take every time we go out in public and another list for when we're at home. We live prepared to take action in the face of tragedy. There's nothing wrong with being safe, but God doesn't tell us to know where all the exits are. He doesn't tell us to take a self defense class. Those things are easy. In the face of desolations, He tells us to be still and trust Him, because He will be exalted.
Can you trust Him to fight your battles? Can you trust Him with your purpose? Oh, Beloved, you are precious to Him. He will fight for you. He will fulfil His purpose for you.
“I cry out to God Most High,
to God who fulfills His purpose for me. ”
Pray. Be still. Trust Him.
You belong. You have purpose.
You are loved.
Be still and know.
